Monday, September 7, 2009

VENTING.................

Ok... So I used to have a place to go to that i felt welcome to vent, to cry to laugh.. whatever.. but that place is no longer a comforting place to go.. as a matter of fact, i feel i've been kicked out of the CLIQUE!! DAMN HIGHSCHOOL-TYPE DRAMA!! I'm pretty sure I Graduated HIGHSCHOOL a LONG time ago.. but apparently no matter how old the people can be.. A LOT of people still like.. no scratch that THRIVE on DRAMA/BS...

anyways.. that wasn't my vent... (believe it or not..) but this IS

My Daddy- As you may/may not know/care... my dad is sick.. He's been battling cancer for 2 years.. it started in his colon (he had colon cancer before.. when i was like 14.. but they cut it out and he had a clean bill of health) well this time.. he wasn't so lucky.. by the time they caught it it had spread to his stomach, liver and lungs.. well he was on a chemo regimen that was working for 2 years.. all of his lesions seemed to be shrinking/vanishing.. his colon tumor was completely GONE, and there were only like 2 lesions left on his liver. (his lungs were clear too) well the STUPID cancer was getting immune to it (I guess) and the liver lesions were not going away, they were getting slightly bigger and one more even appeared, so it was time to change treatment.. well they started him on a new type of Chemo, and it knocked him on his butt for DAMN NEAR 2 weeks!! not only was he down... but he was hospitalized a few times... he had to get a 5 unit blood transfusion one of those times (i was told there are only 10 units in your body) The new chemo (as i understand it) gave him bleeding ulcers! Tomorrow is his birthday so I called to see if anything was planned (My family likes to forget to tell me of these things.. they didn't even call me when my dad was hospitialized for 3 days) for tomorrow.. he informed me.. HE LOST HIS HAIR.. ALL OF IT!!! This makes me sooooo sad... it all seems toooo real to me!! I'm not ready for this Cancer SHIT to be real... I lost my Grandpa due to lung cancer when i was 12, and at 18 me and my sister had to plan my step-dad's funeral (it wasn't cancer.. but still) I'm NOT ready to lose my dad!! i don't want this to be real... I'm NOT READY!!! I want My dad there when my kids start school, and when they graduate... and When they get married... I'm soooo NOT ready for this!!! DAD- YOU CAN DO THIS!! YOU CAN PULL THROUGH.. GIVE CANCER THE FINGER!!! I NEED YOU!!!!!

1 comment:

Brittney aka Milmomma said...

Awww sweetie. I'm sorry on both accounts.
I really hope your dad gets better. I know how hard it can be. To watch them fight it, I mean.
And for the record, no more babies :P